D-Day.

D-day aka test day is right around the corner!! Since I'm not saying when the test is I'll just say... Pray for me, and keep your fingers crossed for me so that within a very short period of time I may be a nurse. a Real nurse with the big ol RN behind my name. that is all.
off to study...

kobe.

Before my best friend took off to serve the lord in Chile she came for an over night visit to the CC and the morning she left she left notes on notecards all over my room and in hidden areas. Some more obvious than others. I thought I had found them all when one day I discovered one as I went to put on my cowgirl boots I felt resistance and low and behold I found one. I text her telling her I was still finding notes and she was thrilled saying she had purposefully hidden some to take months to find so I'd still get them after she left. Well yesterday her goal was met as I was sitting at my desk studying and decided to use my medications cards and I found this...

Guess who cried?? that's right because I can cry so easy these days. It's amazing to me how she's thousand of miles away and yet still manages to know when I need her most : ) love you my lil sista kobe!!! thank you. thank you!

People.

I'm not talking about people magazine, although I must admit that I have been very intrigued by the latest issues at the check out stands as the royal wedding saga and pictures continue, but I am talking about people in general. You see lately I've had more free time on my hands than I have had in months and I've not spent it the best way I could be but I have been doing what I love lately and that is people watching!!!
I love staring at people, and not in a rude way but sometimes it is, because people are so interesting!! I love looking at mannerisms, body language, and behavior in general. I've also noticed recently in my people watching that I'm surrounded by some great people in my life who teach me a lot, and while I already knew they were great just taking a minute to observe them aka stare I realize even more how much I admire them or look up to them. My favorite example this week was watching my dad take the time to make sure our single lady neighbor got her lawns mowed and edges trimmed. I love that man, he's so great!

I also get amazed by how lazy I am when I look at other people being so productive, adventurous and creative in life. I've never been one to cook, scrapbook, makes bows, or do anything but school and work pretty much but I have some goals that I'm looking forward to when I don't have the guilt trip of a test and finding a job hanging over my head. I've been inspired of some things I need to do in my life.

people watching this week has reminded me to try a little harder to be a little better. thanks peeps!

blah.blah.blah

I set my test date yesterday, that's right the big NCLEX will be taking place soon(date being kept secret so if I fail I don't have to face everyone asking how it went etc.. I can simply go on like I hadn't taken it yet.) I was freakin out all day and was seriously sick to my stomach with a massive headache majority of the day. Growing up is hard, and this reality check is coming so soon that it doesn't feel real that the day I've been anticipating and "preparing" for is here, set in date, penciled in the planner. So weird. Weird enough I couldn't study all day because I couldn't concentrate.

I'm super frustrated today. Studying and taking a sample test this morning left me in a terrible mood so I turned to Grey's anatomy for comfort as I frequently do. I love that show and seriously it relates to real life SO MUCH!! (and not just realitive in comparing of patients conditions and what s/s are talked about although in school it was not uncommon for us fans to shout out "oh yeah like on Grey's Anatomy! Grey's anatomy had an episode about this!!"). Because it relates to life so much, and I swear more relative to my life a lot, it is not uncommon for me to cry. Don't judge. So as I turned for comfort I should not have been surprised when I found myself in tears 90% of the episode. I won't spoil anything because it was the season finale and although I feel it was lame comparision to the past 2 season finales nonetheless shouldn't be spoiled, but there was something that was talked about that I loved. For instance a quote that talked or said something among the lines of...."I always thought I would be alone. In fact I always wanted to be alone. Not that I can't love or don't want to be loved but because if you do love someone and lose them it is hard to recover and is similar to tissue damage. Although, tissue damage could be repaired or removed and healing occurs, this type of healing could go on forever..... Being alone is easier. It's comfortable." I couldn't agree with grey's more.

Life is crazy. it really is and I bring it up often because it amazes me sometimes when you look back on life and think I never thought I'd be here, or I always thought I'd be doing this, living here, having that, etc.. by now. Life rarely happens or works out how we plan or try to plan. It can be exciting and frustrating yet in the end it's still a miracle that somehow we end up happy! Thank goodness I'm no in charge of planning where my life goes, although I still like to try.

I was at channy's house yesterday when she brought out a new book by Elder Holland, a thought and picture book, and one of them really stuck with me: "No misfortune is so bad that whining about it won't make it worse." I'm trying to take that in and stop whining about everything. I'll try hard to not bring up the words boards, NCLEX, test, studying, in every sentence of conversation for the next few weeks. However, before I totally commit to that statement lemme say: I can't help but feel so inadequate and retarded these days. It's weird when everyone talks to you and tells you how much confidence they have in you and how great you are, blah blah blah. and yet when you look inside yourself all you see is fear and inadequacy, and want to just hide under the covers and not get out of bed!!!

Man I would really LOVE it if this rain would stop. A rainy day is great but a rainy week at the first of summer?? come on already!

lately.

graduated life has been good to me so far, minus the fact that I
still have to study and should be more than I am and that I still don't have notice of test dates available to take the test. Studying for the biggest test of my life and not knowing when I'm taking it is not fun, and stressful enough to make me wanna vomit! however, things are good!!
Last week was actually pretty busy. Some highlights of the week included: Talking to Elder Olsen!! My brother is a stud which is no new news, however it was really good to hear his voice and talk to him for over an hour. Man I worry about that kid and miss him so much. I never thought I'd miss being harassed and teased as much as I do : ) I feel bad for him though, Mexico doesn't "believe" in eating dinner and the poor kid must be starving to death. Let's just say he pretty much admitted to losing the 10 pounds he'd gained in the MTC. Also he found the idea of putting Jesus stickers/pictures all over his packages hilarious! and to quote "I don't think I'd even dare open it". It was good to hear him laugh and sad to hear him tear up talking to Kez.

I finally went and paid an overdue visit to Jacqui's mom! It was so good to see her again along with her sisters and of course roxy : ) We chatted about what's new in life, how things were going and how our missionary is doing and what she had via skype on mothers day. We laughed as always and she started in on my case about starting to actually give guys the time of day now, haha! we'll see about that one. however it's nice to know that I'm close enough again to go visit more often.

Celebrating Brookie passing her RT test as well as pranking Adam, jacqui's brother. We're easily entertained and lucky enough they thought we were just as funny as we thought we were and actually went along with our plans to meet at the set meeting point.

The Surprise party of course was a huge part of my week, as already discussed.

Friday we found ourselves in Salt Lake all day with Grandma and Grandpa G. Grandpa had a doctors appointment at the VA and so we decided to make a day of it. While they were at the doctors we bummed around temple square and saw some things we hadn't seen before, along with enjoyed running into our cousin Robert. Lunch at the Lion house along with the grandparents first time in the museum. It was a really fun, HOT day.








I also finally met little Avery : ) I made the drive to Nephi Saturday for another long overdue visit to the McKinley house. Avery is adorable! and as always it was good to see Jess again and see her in action rocking the mom of 2 thing! Max is a character of course and once he woke up from his nap I tried to redeem myself for almost making him fall out of the wagon the previous night(long story), and by the time I left I finally got a high five!! Can't wait to play with this fam more often now we're only 45 mins apart instead of hours.

A hilarious late night Chili's run with Erin, brookie, and candice. our Waiter probably thought we were smoking something, mostly candice haha, but we had a lot of fun and candice and I also had a lot of food!! well worth the ill feeling, those chips and salsa along with chocolate molten and diet coke are delicious!!

Sunday dinner with the fam and guest : ) "Brittany why don't you come sit over here and tanner can squeeze in over there" haha oh boy it was a treat!! I'm so grateful to be close to my family's house again. I've missed these sunday dinners, walks, FHE, and game nights.

So that's pretty much what I've been up to lately! Added in with cleaning, organizing and trying to decorate my new place. My roommates are nice, interesting but nice, good thing is I have this giant room, giant closet, and giant room to contain me and occupy my time! I wish I had more kitchen space but since I don't use it very often I guess I'll be just fine! point is no drama... yet : ) hoping to keep it that way!! I've also been chatting on the phone frequently with Cyndi and Analisa back in Cedar about life and things occurring down there. I miss them and I miss Melissa and Jess too. good thing Melissa's wedding is in a few weeks and we can re-unite! Also, I've substituted my daily Brad's diet cokes with visits to the McDonalds by my house, large drinks for only $1! Mickey D's is going to be knowing my vehicle very soon I'm sure. So there ya have it, I'll post some pictures for my viewing pleasure soon of the new room when I get a few more pictures on the walls(vaulted ceilings are causing a slight complication) but we'll settle for this now to just show you I have my own hallway....

See. It's huge, not even half the room!! that's my own bathroom down that lil hallway. I actually get to remember what it feels like to get ready in a bathroom again after a year of getting ready in dim light on the floor in front of a full length mirror in my room : ) I still need to investigate how to get CMT in my room, it's in the living room and I want it!!
Oh today we surprised my mom with a luncheon for mothers day, I love that woman and forgot to do a shoutout due to her day being thrown in and overshadowed by the big graduation weekend. But I do love you mama and I'm so grateful for everything you do for our family and especially me. You're my biggest fan club, personal assistant, psychologist, etc...and I couldn't do it without you. Thank you thank you!!

I watched a movie tonight that made me miss my brother even more and made me also made me miss Jacqui having a cell phone!! Let's just say something borrowed made me tear up in multiple parts and that's lame but I really wish I could just call up jacqui and vent to her and have her listening ear like I used to. Also wish I could drive over to my parents and see Taylor standing there in his "Jimish ways". Lucky for me, today was p-day and I got an e-mail from both!! and both with pictures. I got Taylor's this morning and Jacqui's tonight(someone upstairs knew I needed to hear from her today). Here's the hooligans...
brother I'm proud of all your baptisms. I'm also extremely jealous of your tan : )

Turns out his older sisters have taught him something in life!!! never ever would have thought a picture like this would surface. looks like missions change people afterall.

that's all for now. I should probably take a few more test questions tonight, and stress more about the upcoming test. Then I'll do something fun and relaxing in my massive room before bed! life is good.

surprise party.

Thursday night I attended a surprise party, and it was in my honor!! I had no idea previously, (clearly a surprise party) that my sisters had planned a graduation party for me in the earlier weeks before I even graduated!! They had e-mailed my closest friends and invited them to the party with the disclaimer to dress as a patient aka elderly person or someone that needed care of fixing.
Thursday night as I sat at the UVU baseball game with Channy Ash text me if I could come over to help with the kiddos seeing as how she supposedly had a slumber party that night and mom needed help cause the kids were being crazy. I believed her after having watched them for a few hours earlier that day. Channy took her sweet time driving home, stopping in at work and such, while I got more irritated that mom needed help : ) as we turned the corner to the house I noticed balloons tied to the mailbox along with Melissa's car parked in front of our house! It wasn't long before I noticed brook's jeep and was wondering what the heck was going on, as it became to clear to me that we had not been called over to help babysit!! I ran into the house as everyone yelled SURPRISE!! It was awesome and I was in total shock. Ash and Channy had decorated the house super cute with scrubs hanging up, pictures of me and my close friends over the past couple years, Some pictures were even sticking out of a urinal : ) They also had hung up real CAT scan and "X-ray's" with ace bandages. They even had a cake and black and red balloons to boot!! did I mention they were all in costume??? I couldn't stop smiling!! I was so happy that someone had taken the time to do that for me and that everyone had come despite their schedules and that they had all kept it a secret so well!! I was really happy especially with all the crap that's gone on with "friends" lately to know that I've weeded them out to know that I truly do have the best friends and I'm so glad that we're all so close again!! I was especially happy to celebrate graduation with those who had missed it along with once again celebrating it with Melissa : )

The brains behind the operation : ) thank you thank you!!!

I seriously loved it and I am so grateful for all the planning that went into it and all the time spent decorating!! Thank you so much sisters for being the best!! and friends I just love you : )

I did it.

the sappy long posts about reflecting on my life the past 5 years can end because I graduated. Finally graduated that is!! It was a fantastic week, finals were finals of course but packing knowing I could get out that house was great motivation!! I hung out with my best friend Melissa majority of the time than Ashley came into town cause she was also graduating. So we definitely made the best of her visit!!
Thursday we wanted one last outside hoorah in Southern Utah. It started by picking up our cap and gowns and getting free ice cream early in the morning. Then we gathered the crew and ate at Don Miguel's to celebrate the day's holiday of Cinco De Mayo. We finally took off for Red Cliff's where we spent the afternoon hiking around on the red rocks through the "slot canyons", going down the "slides" and cliff jumping. Yes I did it : ) It was a gorgeous day outside and we were more than happy to lay on the rocks and soak up the sun!

Promise that's me in that big splash! I did it...Cynd was just a lil slow on the capture : )




That night our class had originally wanted to do a big ol BBQ with just us 20 before the families started rolling in Friday but lack of planning left us with a last minute text to gather at pizza factory for dinner. Not all of us were there but enough of us were there to make it fun, as we reminisced, talked about future plans and as always told stories. It was a great last time for the friends at PF!!

Friday the fun continued... The fam arrived just in time for my pinning ceremony. The pinning was the part that meant the most to me so I'm so grateful they were able to come. It turned out perfect! We had great speakers (Professor Becky and buddy Daron) who almost put me to tears, then a slide show presentation which announced the Most Likely awards we'd received by vote of our class. Examples were: Most likely to-own the most scrubs, write a book, star in Grey's anatomy, get a nursing tattoo, etc... My award was most likely to get proposed to by a patient : ) We then received our nursing pins and had photoshoots before we were all off to eat with the fam.




The valedictorian of the whole school Nicole and myself : ) she's amazing!!
love these ladies!!

Definitely feeling the love!!!

Following a delicious lunch at pizza factory with the fam it was time for commencement with all the graduates. We got to line up on as colleges and parade around campus prior to the ceremony and it was actually really fun! we lived it up and thanked everyone along the route and smiled big for all the camera's not taking pictures of us. However, it actually was really cool to walk through all the faculty on both sides of us as they cheered and applauded (ours high fived us) right before we entered down into the stadium. In the ceremony us nursing students couldn't help but make a big deal about Nicole, we're so proud of her we cheered and stood up when they announced her. Not to mention the President admitted that Nursing is one of the most rigorous undergraduate degrees on campus, how can you not cheer for that!! I just hope everyone who has given crap in the past months was listening at that moment, if not I'd be more than happy to mail copies of the program with that statement printed in it highlighted with a personal message to you : ) Once again was an afternoon full of photos.

coolest jumping picture courtesy of channy's photography

the ribbon representing Jake

Would not be here without these two

Matty and me. one of the greatest kids I know!

Saturday was the convocation for the college of science where we actually walked across the stage for our "diploma". We had many photo ops while waiting around in the tunnel lining up : )

check out the dean's face!!! he's either really surprised or really happy for me...

My Twin and I. Seriously though.

Thank you so much to my support system!

2011 baby!!!

The goodbye's and tears begin...

So graduation is over. It was a pretty fun weekend and I kept my emotions under control majority of the weekend, unless it came down to my class then I was sad. I'm gonna miss seeing those guys all the time and it was hard to say goodbye after being together pretty much 24/7 majority of the time. I'm so glad was my family spent the weekend with me, it meant a lot to have them all in attendance (minus the bro's but they couldn't make it). I also was grateful to leave Cedar City drama behind and be rid of certain people I once considered friends. Good memories in that place and lots of growing up there, so naturally got a little emotional as I drove out of town Sunday morning and left it in the dust!! anyways, point is I did it. Finally graduated!