why I do...

nursing. I love it. Nursing school for past year and a half has made me hate it but I am happy to say that I am finally back into feeling the love for what I do. I've had many people ask me ever since I became a CNA 5 years ago why I chose nursing and although there are many reasons why I do what I do don't get me wrong there are the down sides and I must admit that I hate...
-the 3 P's, peed on, pooped on, and puked on. not fun.
-feeling like room service, or servant status.
-charting. it's so meticulous.
-wiping butts. yes I'll say it, not a flattering part of my profession.
-arrogant doctors and overbearing family members.
-not knowing what some patients need, or how to really help some of them.

but I love...
-my patients and getting to know them. It's amazing the people I have met.
-bringing a smile to a stranger's face
-knowing I made someone feel better
-holding their hands while they cry, and honestly holding up my weak chemo patients head while they vomit.
-relieving someone else's pain
-hearing "thank you" from someone I know really means it
-the crazy ones, the young ones, the elderly ones, but lately I've loved the really mean and sick ones.
-seeing the change for the better because of something I've done.
-how everyday is different and I never really know what or who I'm going to get, everyday is an adventure
-being able to forget about my life and my troubles and focusing totally on 4 or 5 other peoples problems all day. (especially lately-I love the escape from life!)
-the moments when I can look at a patient and just smile, knowing they are really helping me more than I am helping them.

I love my preceptorship!! I remember being devastated many times in the process before I actually started my preceptorship: not getting valley view, not getting my requested nurses at Dixie, not getting the floor I originally wanted etc... in fact I remember praying before I sent in my request form asking for a good experience and to help me go where I was supposed to go, and then when my car started having trouble two days after I found out I was going to be commuting to st. george I thought there's no way this is really going to be a good experience and why say I'm supposed to go there when all these things are going wrong. well I was wrong, I don't really know best, cause know here I sit with 1 precept clinical left and I'm sad. I love my nurse Miriam! she's an amazing nurse, been an excellent teacher, and now has turned into a friend. I love DRMC third floor. I love the aides, PT, social workers, and other nurses, etc... I don't wanna leave.

Not only do people ask me why I do what I do or why I chose nursing but they also find it totally weird I love hospitals. it's funny that in a place where majority of the people in it want nothing more than to go home, I feel at home. I feel comfortable there, I feel respected and almost powerful there. I have mostly loved being at the dixie hospital to be out of Cedar, I was kinda bummed when I learned the majority of my last semester in Cedar would be spent out of it, now I'm depressed whenever I'm in Cedar and not in St. George or New Harmony preparing for St.George. I don't fit in here anymore, basically I have no friends left here, and it's full of drama and things that I've realized being in preceptorship that I'm done with. I can't wait to get out of here grow up a little and say syanara to the people of Cedar City, I thank the past 10 twelve hour shifts I've completed for doing that.

Enough of the rambling...basically just wanted to mention that I'm so grateful for the experience and the blessing to have been able to precept with Miriam at DRMC 3rd floor. you've all been great. Thanks for helping me to love nursing again, and gain confidence to help me realize I really am ready to go out and grow up a little bit. I'm going to miss you.

PS. hope everyone had a great valentine's day-probably doesn't surprise anyone it's an unobserved holiday for me but this is me on V-day this year actually celebrating it by doing what I love.

In Memory: for my memory

Beverly A. Olsen: July 18, 1929-February 7, 2011.

My Grandma Olsen passed away last Monday. Channy had called me Thursday night to tell me that she had gone on hospice, which means you've got to have within 6 months left of life in order to qualify for hospice, but through my work experience I've seen several people on pass away within all different time frames so when I woke up to texts from my sisters Monday saying she had passed I was pretty surprised. As mentioned before, I've taken care of so many people I can't even count that have passed away in the past 5 years, as a health care worker you have to detach yourself in a way that you realize death is a part of life and happens to everyone otherwise it'd be hard to cry over every patient you lose. Basically what I'm saying is I've become callused to death, I don't cry, I realize they are better off and move on to my next patient. It's really different when it comes to family...not gonna lie I've really struggled this past week, but I'm focusing on the good : )

My grandma will always be considered an amazing lady in my book! My grandpa Olsen died before any of us kids were born so I've always remembered her living alone-she's always been an example to me in that way of being brave and continuing on in life as well as eternal marriage and always with the knowledge that she would indeed be with her husband again. So as I think about a positive thing about death I think of the two of them, finally together again after 29 years. My uncle Michael at the funeral talked about how he left her house Sunday night and had a feeling that it was time and that would probably be the last time he saw her alive, and how he just felt that his dad was near and that he was indeed coming to get her, pick her up and take her home. I'm so happy to know she's no longer alone and I can't even imagination how happy she is, and the celebration going on up there.

My grandma hasn't had the greatest health in a while, in fact I can't remember that last time she wasn't on oxygen! however, grandma was always big into family, which is why the Olsen side has a family summer party and Christmas party every year-which grandma attends both every year portable oxygen and all!! I have so many great memories from all these parties/reunions, camping in the mountains a lot, the summer party in California, etc... and another memory of grandma is her darn film camera. She never could convert to digital so she always had the film camera out documenting the parties and festivities as we'd all complain in family or cousin pictures that it was taking to long because of the film she'd just tell us to hang on hold the pose and eventually we got the picture taken-never knowing if it had turned out or not.

Along with not having the greatest health...another side of death is no longer having to suffer. She's finally free from pain and any suffering she'd been experiencing the past couple years. In fact after the funeral Friday as I was driving to Manti to pick up Kez after the funeral I got this overwhelming feeling of peace of calmness that grandma was happy again, and that she was relieved to be free from her failing body. Such a relief to me to know that, and I'm grateful for it.

My grandma loved to quilt and sew. I'm sure all of us grandkids will think of her as we cuddle up in our quilts she made us and gave out at Christmas. I am lucky enough to have 3 quilts from grandma-one being my favorite because one Christmas she gave out themed quilts for our talents/hobbies/loves which for my siblings on Christmas morning were sporting themed. I began to wonder what mine would look like, seeing as how I hadn't played a sport in years, I was so touched to open my present and inside found a quilt that was nursing themed. I still remember how special I felt that she took the time to make it everytime I cuddle up in my wheelchair, bandaid and stethescope decored blanket : )

I have plenty more memories of grandma which I could go on and on about but something I feel was really neat, also from the funeral, was when Ashlee was speaking Friday and had compiled a bunch of the cousins memories into a tribute for her and she ended with one from our cousin Robert...basically talked about how grandma was one of the first people to greet him in the celestial room after taking his endowments out and how she went to him and hugged him and told him congrats for making it, and how proud of him she was, etc... and said "I know she'll do the same to me when I get up there, and get to be with her once again".

I'm so grateful to have known my grandma and something that I've really struggled with the past week is knowing I have no grandparents left on my dad's side for futuristic purposes- she won't get to be to my wedding(if it happens), or hold my kids one day on their blessing but I know she'll meet them before I do and I hope she gives them a good grandma olsen talkin to before they come on down to me : )

Pallbearers: Daniel, Mark, Tanner, Lyle, Tyler, and Uncle Jim. (represented one from each of grandma's kids families)

My Cute Parents

Siblings:missing the Elder!!

Dad's siblings and spouses

All 7 of grandma's kids were able to make it from: Tennessee, UT, UT UT, Texas, Washington, California

grandkids photo: missing a lot but those that made it. for you and your film camera grandma!

together forever

Another "tradition" my mom has to line up all the grandkids(and spouses) ever since we were little and compare heights. not to happy that I've dropped in the line...

of course have to show the cutest kids in the world!!!!!

Thanks for the great memories Grandma, we'll miss you, and never forget you! I love you!

How bout them cowboys?!?!

better yet....how about the king of cowboys and country music, George Strait?? or maybe the queen of country Reba Mcentire?? well I was lucky enough to be able to watch BOTH of them in concert this past weekend at the MGM Grand in Vegas. It was amazing!! and the best part I didn't have to pay a penny!!

The piute cowboys I talk so much about told me Thursday night that they had an extra ticket so I of course agreed, not entirely sure when I accepted if that meant I would pay them back or not but agreed anyways. Saturday morning they showed up all decked out of course, and as we were driving down the freeway in a red dodge dually, following the rest of the group ahead of us in the black dodge dually making out the outline of the black cowboy hats I felt like I was in a dream! despite how cheesy this dream sounds, I was in heaven.
We got to MGM checked into our rooms got dressed and ready for the night then wandered around, ate dinner, and bummed the casino until it was time to go get in the massive line entry to the arena. We had great seats where we watched Leann Womack open, then Reba came out. She's so cool!! I don't care if you like country or not, Reba and George got talent, and to still look as great as they do for how old they are is amazing. Something I loved about Reba's performance was when Melissa Peterman came out right before she sang the Reba show theme song. They goofed around just they do on the show and I was dying of laughter, Melissa is hilarious!! Leann also came back out during Reba's performance where they sang a duet together.
After Reba it was of course time for George, where he proceeded to serenade and seduce the audience from the stage for about the next 3 hours. he sang a lot of classics and so many great songs, and looked good doing it : ) I was smiling the whole night!! basically what I'm getting at is these people can put on a show!
The night continued after the concert like a typical Vegas trip...wandering the strip, dancing around and complaining of how tired we were and how our feet hurt, yes I may have taken my first taxi ride that night back to the hotel.
After the boys took us to breakfast the next morning, it was back on the open road.

now for the pictures of course....

The miss me crew aka ladies getting ready for the concert

who doesn't love Barbara Jean : )

The King is in the house!!

Thanks for the great times boys!!

late night.

why am I awake, blogging at 1:12 in the morning???? I can't sleep.
that's because tomorrow I am going to the George Strait concert, in Vegas, with my favorite cowboys, all expense paid : )
yes I love life right now. yes it's pretty much a dream come true. yes I'm super excited and yes I can't sleep because I just wanna jump up and down.

Me + Piute cowboys + Mindaaay + Vegas + George Strait = one amazing weekend ahead of me.

sleep tight for tomorrow I'll be amarillo by morning : )

I want...

Carhartt Confederacy.... I wanna join so bad!!

nothing like a good Carhartt.



never fails. one day I'm going to be a member of this elite club : )

.Senioritis.

Senioritis is...

-staying up late watching you tube videos and recording our own youtube worthy videos.

-watching 8 seconds and country strong all day on my day off instead of typing all my assignments

-day dreaming about life after graduation while sitting in class

-stress comes only when you hear the word N-Clex

-being elite enough to attend the pre-grad fair

-boycotting buying text books

-Not being in Cedar 90% of the week

-realizing how funny your life is and how much these years of college has changed you : )

I have senioritis. oh yeah, real bad case!!!

wedding. love. marriage.

more pictures from this past weekends wedding, I don't think I ever mentioned how I know Jessica but she is in my nursing class with me and the funny thing is that I met her once before we started in the program at my friend brittany Whimpy's birthday party when she gave us a suggestion of someone she knew in Arizona. In a round about way she was the hook up that gave us the greatest spring break trip ever!! I love Jess so much, and we've gotten really close ever since we've been in the program together. She looked beautiful on her big day and everything went so perfectly!
(PS. much to my dismay you will be seeing my lovely grill in these photos...I try not to show off the brace face but this will be an exception.)

First off.... a flashback picture from her bridal shower in Salt Lake over Christmas Break : )

heading up to the temple...paparazzi shot from Austin
Waiting for the lovely couple to come outside....ps. We're all nurses in this picture : )

it's official!!!

waiting for our turn to get in the shots with the bride and groom. freezing to death by the way!!

Mama Cyndi and her daughters : ) sluffing class for the big day!

Pow-wow advice time!

now to the reception we go!

The couple to wed, we'll be there for you June 4th!!

Reception crew cramming onto one table, notice the awesome centerpieces?
Even though we drove all over central and southern utah this day it was such a great day! and it was so nice to meet up and catch up with old friends who have long since moved from Cedar!. happy for you Jess, love you friend!

.week recap.

another week down!! here's how it went...
Friday: Got out of class, picked the car up out of the shop then drove to Provo and hung out with the fam. Visited Channy at work, then had a "sleepover" in her new apartment.
Saturday: helped mom get food ready for the big day. Ran errands. Went out to dinner with the fam. Visited my lil friend Candice and got to see this little peach : )


Sunday: Watched Taylor speak and was once again reminded how much my little brother is such a better person than me. Saw and visited with lots of family friends from Helper that came to support as well as all the family. Although it was a day where I was reminded just how old I am when the triplets I have watched grow up reminded me that they are seven now, old lady : )
Monday: Homework all morning, packed up my stuff, said my goodbye to Taylor for 2 years, and hit the open road. Got back to Cedar about 6, ate dinner and showered only to changed things from one suitcase to another and hit the road to New Harmony. Sleepover at Cyndi's.
Tuesday: Another early morning wake up call! Busy day at the hospital!! my patient ended up getting lifeflighted, while the other one was having other developing issues that kept us running all day! Lunch at 2-2:15. Met an amazing cancer patient who I'll probably never forget cause she seriously amazed me. left hospital a little before 7. watched a lame excuse of a jazz game, got so irritated had to change it. Another sleepover in new harmony.
Wednesday: early to rise, followed by another long day at the hospital. Had same cancer patient that made my day but was busy!! got to deal with NG tube feedings and meds in the hospital finally. Gave my very own report without my nurse...hope I did alright! Drove to Cedar. did homework until late. bedtime.
Thursday: Class again 9-5. Had an a guest anesthesiologist speaker who stressed us all by talking way above our heads in critical care. Signed up for another year of Americorps. 3 hour dinner at Pizza Factory for Melissa's birthday. Awkward moments in walmart.
Friday: Jessica's wedding day!so skipped class and it was up at 6, on the road by 8. Drove to Manti-hung out in the car while everyone else was in the sealing. Pictures, pictures and more pictures in the freezing wind. Luncheon in Mt. Pleasant, where I ate my body weight in "Cafe Rio" , brownies and ice cream. Actually got a little teary eyed during Jess's dad speech. Visited with good friends, watched myself in the wedding video, and headed for Nephi. Gas and 44oz diet cokes stop then the roadtrip continued to Oak City. Met up with Evan and we scarfed down Crepes at the reception took lots more pictures, and then was back on the road headed home to Cedar. Late night dessert trip to Chili's with Melissa in town visiting, followed by red box movie. Bedtime!



Saturday: "slept in", cleaned house, lunch at Brad's with Kenzie and Mindaaay, drive around Enoch enjoying the beautiful weather. Finally bought 8 seconds (we've been looking for it in the dump bin at Walmart for months and today we had a worker stalk it out in the back today). Watched 8 seconds. Ate home made fajitas, now it's back to the suitcase to pack and hit the road to New Harmony to be at the hospital at 6am.

Such is my life this senior year.....