why I do...

nursing. I love it. Nursing school for past year and a half has made me hate it but I am happy to say that I am finally back into feeling the love for what I do. I've had many people ask me ever since I became a CNA 5 years ago why I chose nursing and although there are many reasons why I do what I do don't get me wrong there are the down sides and I must admit that I hate...
-the 3 P's, peed on, pooped on, and puked on. not fun.
-feeling like room service, or servant status.
-charting. it's so meticulous.
-wiping butts. yes I'll say it, not a flattering part of my profession.
-arrogant doctors and overbearing family members.
-not knowing what some patients need, or how to really help some of them.

but I love...
-my patients and getting to know them. It's amazing the people I have met.
-bringing a smile to a stranger's face
-knowing I made someone feel better
-holding their hands while they cry, and honestly holding up my weak chemo patients head while they vomit.
-relieving someone else's pain
-hearing "thank you" from someone I know really means it
-the crazy ones, the young ones, the elderly ones, but lately I've loved the really mean and sick ones.
-seeing the change for the better because of something I've done.
-how everyday is different and I never really know what or who I'm going to get, everyday is an adventure
-being able to forget about my life and my troubles and focusing totally on 4 or 5 other peoples problems all day. (especially lately-I love the escape from life!)
-the moments when I can look at a patient and just smile, knowing they are really helping me more than I am helping them.

I love my preceptorship!! I remember being devastated many times in the process before I actually started my preceptorship: not getting valley view, not getting my requested nurses at Dixie, not getting the floor I originally wanted etc... in fact I remember praying before I sent in my request form asking for a good experience and to help me go where I was supposed to go, and then when my car started having trouble two days after I found out I was going to be commuting to st. george I thought there's no way this is really going to be a good experience and why say I'm supposed to go there when all these things are going wrong. well I was wrong, I don't really know best, cause know here I sit with 1 precept clinical left and I'm sad. I love my nurse Miriam! she's an amazing nurse, been an excellent teacher, and now has turned into a friend. I love DRMC third floor. I love the aides, PT, social workers, and other nurses, etc... I don't wanna leave.

Not only do people ask me why I do what I do or why I chose nursing but they also find it totally weird I love hospitals. it's funny that in a place where majority of the people in it want nothing more than to go home, I feel at home. I feel comfortable there, I feel respected and almost powerful there. I have mostly loved being at the dixie hospital to be out of Cedar, I was kinda bummed when I learned the majority of my last semester in Cedar would be spent out of it, now I'm depressed whenever I'm in Cedar and not in St. George or New Harmony preparing for St.George. I don't fit in here anymore, basically I have no friends left here, and it's full of drama and things that I've realized being in preceptorship that I'm done with. I can't wait to get out of here grow up a little and say syanara to the people of Cedar City, I thank the past 10 twelve hour shifts I've completed for doing that.

Enough of the rambling...basically just wanted to mention that I'm so grateful for the experience and the blessing to have been able to precept with Miriam at DRMC 3rd floor. you've all been great. Thanks for helping me to love nursing again, and gain confidence to help me realize I really am ready to go out and grow up a little bit. I'm going to miss you.

PS. hope everyone had a great valentine's day-probably doesn't surprise anyone it's an unobserved holiday for me but this is me on V-day this year actually celebrating it by doing what I love.