interesting.

I know I talk about Grey's all the time but really it's such an amazing show and to me really similar to real life! I've been re-watching some episodes lately and there's one where Meredith aka the narrator talks about how much health care workers get so much more out of their patients sometimes when we're the ones supposed to be helping them. once again just like real life : )
January was the worst month ever especially at work and I really struggled wondering if nursing is what I really wanted to do anymore, and if I had gone through all this school and hard work for nothing! Seriously almost quit my job one day, but I held out and somehow the light at the end of the tunnel came and January was over(hallelujah!!). During that time I was desperate for support so if you were one of those I was constantly whining and complaining to my deepest apologies. One of those poor people ended up being my brother one day, when I hadn't wrote him in a while he wrote me saying he wanted to hear about what I've been up. My depressed self vented to him a lil more than I should have but his response was just what I needed to hear. He told me to remember the reason why I chose nursing! he told me reasons why he thought that I was good for nursing and told me to do the same. thank you lil bro!
Long story short I began to look at patients every shift and find reasons to be glad I was a nurse or find the moments in the shift to make my day better. I began learning a heck of a lot more from my patients then I'm sure they were getting from me and I even started laughing at work again, which at the time seemed like a miracle.
Well work has started being a lil more like January lately and in order to maintain the hope that I'll not hit that questioning bottom again I've began keeping a "journal" of these patients and moments so when discouragement hits I can be reminded.
However, besides this little book of stories, life itself seems to remind me lately that there are SOOO many reasons to be grateful and to smile, as well as to not take life for granted. There was a news story recently about a teenage girl being murdered and dumped into the Jordan River-I actually work with that girls dad and that night it all happened I was at work and as co-workers began talking about it I realized the horror my friend must be going through. I was instantly grateful to know that all my family was safe and sound.
When you work in a profession where one day you may see a patient and the next day they may be dead it makes you realize a lot of the things people take for granted. So while I still don't love my job, and life still has it's downs I've really been trying to be happier lately.
so here's to my super awesome family, some great friends I have, my superb drives in my truck, country music, and warm weather : )

ps. I found a new home. It's beautiful and if everything works out I could be moving as soon as Saturday : ) : ) : ) : )