I've been on a movie buying roll since I started getting paychecks again and Grey's season one was one of the most recent purchases after someone said to me "I'm surprised you don't own all the seasons since you've seen them all." I was surprised too so therefore now I'll own them. Anywho... I've already watched all of season one, or should I say re-watched. Either way that show's amazing now as it was then.
In one of the episodes Meredith talks about being grown ups and adults, and I quote "We're grown ups. When the heck did that happen?" good question Meredith that's one question I find myself asking ALOT lately. When the heck did I become an adult.
I'm a nurse. Still not over the excitement that comes from everytime I sign my name at work the letters RN follow it. I do it so much I almost do it on receipts at stores. I have credentials, I have a career, I'm a grown up.
I talked to an old BYU-I roommate, and good friend Shanno a few weeks ago when I went and visited her cute pregnant self and husband in Payson. We got talking and reminiscing on all the funny good times we'd had and talked about how crazy it is that life went so fast. We then went on to talk about how grateful we are for where we are in life whether it went fast or not. For example: College. We talked a good half hour or more on the benefits of college, how glad we were we did in the times of our lives that we did and that we had the opportunity to go to college. I LOVED college. When I think back to the best times of my life, the 5 years that I spent paying ridiculous amounts of money on classes, books, rent, and living with some great but mostly ridiculous roommates those are the times I think of.
I've really missed college. In fact I think I've talked about it WAY too much that people are sick of my depressing views on grown up life, but after nothing but school for years and years do ya blame me?? haha. I remember last semester hating everything about school. The insane schedule I had, the distance from my family and friends up north, my roommates, friends(that are no longer my friends) drama every time I turned around, not having my own income for all my funds I required related to school, etc.... I was miserable. My classmates got me through that. I've always said college is where you find out who your friends are and it's still true. The pressures I faced with school, and family things happening at the time my classmates were the only ones who could say I know what you're going through, I understand, and really the only ones who really tried to care (outside of a select few up north haha). Basically what all this venting is about how we grew up a lot that semester as we faced grown up world early and more threatening than a lot of other soon to be college graduates. We thought we were ready to be out of there, done with school and on to the real world. boy we were wrong....
There's many things that they don't prep you for in college related to being a grown up. They try to prepare you for the obvious ones like the reality that hits on your first day flying solo at work, or when responsibility is suddenly present and you've got to call the shots. There are so many other reality shockers that make you wanna throw in the towel and go back to the school and classes we once dreaded.
Last weekend I went to Cedar for the Celebration of Southern Utah Nursing, where my class was honored for our pass rate and because of that our school now being the highest in the state. I loved everything about this weekend. It felt just like the old times, and it was so comforting to see everyone again and compare stories of the working world and how all this time we thought we were all alone in our frustrations and fears we are actually still in each other's great company : ) It was like being back in nursing school again but without the stress, and with the paychecks that we could do whatever we wanted and not feel guilty about it. It definitely was not a grown up weekend and I loved it. I not only got to see old nursing school friends but other friends in general; Alan, Stephany & her husband Ryan, and also multiple old co-workers and friends from Emerald Pointe. Many people who reminded me of the good old college days and somewhat days of carelessness.
Making that drive back home Sunday was really hard. Melissa and I rode together and we both expressed how we didn't wanna go back to reality since the weekend had been that great. It was also hard since Cyndi has moved to Henderson and that was probably the last weekend where we'd all be in cedar with her having a "house" there and be able to re-live memories with a little bit of normalcy. We were sad but reality calls and it was time to be a grown up. As we left town I felt myself asking, "I'm a grown up?? when the heck did that happen???".
It's been back to the working world, and it's been more tolerable knowing I'm not alone in the new nurses world and that my friends who became family are right there with me even though we may be all scattered out everywhere. And instead of being depressed, because life really is great don't get me wrong, I focus on these wise words of my sista shields from her e-mail last week post me telling her about the re-uniting:
"Don´t you be sad you have too much to be happy about. You are a very strong person, and its ok to miss your college years, but enjoy this minute:) Enjoy it even when it sucks. Find the good and discard the bad. Sift through the crap and hold on to the tiny flakes of gold you find:) I will be there to hug the crap out of you soon, so smile and dance till your feet hurt:)"
So life happens, and before ya know it adulthood is here. Be sad for a little bit because it's something that I am totally okay with mourning and then buck up and find all the good things there is about it. Realize you always have the good time memories, and that those friends will always be there and when you get lucky enough to re-unite and catch up it's as if time never passed and adulthood doesn't exist.
happy growing up : )
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