unemployment.

I'm in a funk. to make a long depressing story short let's just say, I thought that graduated life would take off faster and differently than it has. I feel so worthless not having a job, seriously some might think it's nice to have any responsibility etc... but honestly I feel like my nursing school knowledge is draining away one day at a time. I hate not having an income, I mean in school it was a great excuse because my schedule was worst than a job and didn't allow time for one but now I have no commitments, no deadlines etc... I can't plan my life, my summer, or anything. I go through on a day to day basis. I'm a stress case to add to the problem, I sit and worry and stir about how I'm never going to find a nursing job and that I'm going to have to move to another country where there's not 5 thousand nursing schools within 12 miles of me. I sit and get so sick and start stressing so much I'm making myself sick to my stomach all over again like I'm taking that stupid test. anywho, I'm in this weird depression funk where I'm disappointed with life lately, and it's irritating mostly because this should be the happiest and exciting time of life.....things are different.
However, I'm trying to not get too down and let it show because despite my job, and roommate frustrations life really is great! Truly it is and I'm blessed in so many other ways so I hate complaining. The other day a random thought crossed my mind that I need to enjoy the journey. Struggle with that a lot, because I stress and worry about things out of my control and it was a great reminder that while things are not totally great or totally how I wanted them to be at this point of time I need to still enjoy life, everyday!!!
"life is what you make it. So take it and make it beautiful." on that positive note, I'm off to have a NYQUIL induced sleep because these allergies don't give me no rest.
-B.

PS. I got my license in the mail already!! It came last week and I was so happy when I got it that I couldn't stop myself from having a mini(okay pretty long) photoshoot with yours truly and the piece of paper. I may have crazy emotions running through my body these days but I'll admit signing my name on a registered nurse license is awesomeness, unemployed or not.